Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy's Nobody
by MeaningfulPlatypus
Summary: Roxas from Kingdom Hearts II meets The Eds! Sounds like a chaotic anticfilled humor fic, but it's actually deeper...
1. Prologue

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, it's sequels, or Ed, Edd, n' Eddy. If I did, I'd make a game with them...which would no doubt suck eggs. I'll leave the game design to the professionals...for now.

**Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy's Nobody**

**_PROLOGUE_**

Peach Creek Cul-de-sac. A quiet, humble suburban neighborhood. The residents themselves were mostly made up of kids. Kids with nothing to do but enjoy their summer vacation, which was unusually long this year. Three kids in particular are persistant in what they do.

Ed, the dumb one. He may not be the brightest knife in the drawer, but he's certainly the strongest. The muscle of the trio, big Ed is always ready to help his friends out, and rarely does he ever refuse.

Edd, the smart one. In contrast to Ed, Edd (or Double D) is actually very intelligent. The brains of the group, he builds all of the equipment needed to make their plans successful.

And Eddy, the greedy one. Definately not a genius, but still clever. When he and his trio set up their scams, Eddy will do nothing but sit back and watch. It is only when they begin selling that he participates.

The Eds, as they are often refered to, spend many of their hours setting up scams to make quick cash. Most of these become unsuccessful, yet they never stop trying. They just seem to be missing something, but what? Today, they are going to find out...

**JUNKYARD **

"...Excuse me?" Double-D questioned, double checking to see if he heard his friend correctly.

"You heard me. We're gonna start repeating some of our scams. They'll be easier to set up, and we'll fix our mistakes! You got a problem with that?" Eddy barked.

"Of course not, but...I'm just surprised that you'd suggest such a rational idea."

"Oh! I've got a rash!" Ed exclaimed, getting ready to pull down his pants. His two friends quickly prevented the catastrophy from occuring.

"Ok, which one to do first..." Eddy pondered. He then tripped over an object, his face hitting the ground with a thud. Looking down, he spotted... "A camera? That's it! We'll do that calender thing again!"

"Oh no...Eddy, please. Times of changed since episode 7. The kids are gonna be on to us, you know that," Double-D complained. Eddy paid no mind to him, as he began planning. "Well, I might as well reprise my role as safari guide..."

"Guys! Come look at this!" Ed yelled from far away.

"What's lumpy want now?"

"Probably found something out of the ordinary. I wouldn't be surprised, given the nature of this disgusting junkyard..."

_I...I awoke with sweat running down my forehead. Where am I?. Searching around, I found what appeared to be a broken mirror. I inspected myself through the reflection: Yep, still the same. But something just didn't seem right..._

"Oh dear! Excuse me, but are you ok?" _came the voice of a stranger. It was a teenager with a black hat, orange shirt, purple shorts and blue shoes. Behind him followed a short kid with three strands of hair, a yellow shirt, light blue shorts, and red shoes. Behind him was a tall kid with yellow skin, no chin, a green jacket with a red and white stripped shirt underneath, blue pants and black shoes. _

"Yeah, I'm fine. Hey, where am I?"

"You're in the junkyard."

"Ok...but I mean _where _am I?"

"Oh dear. One can only assume you don't live here, correct?" _I was sort of puzzled at first. These kids were...kind of weird. Disproportioned even._

"...Right. I, just woke up here. I don't really remember anything...at all..."

"Amnesia? Oh please, that's so cliche," _the short one piped. _

"But it's true!"

"Don't worry sir, we'll be sure to provide you with excellent hospitality while you try to remember what's been forgotten."

"Thanks. I really appreciate it. It's just...so bizarre..." _I said. It was, at the time. Before I knew the truth._

"My name is Ed!" _yelled the tall kid._

"Eddy," _the short one said._

"And I'm Eddward, but you can call me Double-D. Do you even remember your own name?" _the kid with the hat asked. At that moment, I did. In fact, it was the only thing I knew of myself._

"...My name...My name is Roxas."

"Roxas? ...Hey, that's actually kind of a cool name. I like it! Welcome to the group, Roxas!" _Eddy exclaimed. _

"Group?"

"Yep! We're The Eds! And you're the newest member, Roxas!" _Ed pretty much hugged the life out of me. I couldn't breathe for a moment. The other two just shook hands with me. I had just awakened for the first time in my life, I believed. I didn't know who I was, why I was here, or even why I existed. But, being accepted by these new faces as friends made me feel a warmth inside. Inside my heart...my heart...Yet, I also felt cold...why?_

"First, let's find you some clothes, Roxas. You very well can't go around naked." _This caught me by surprise. That was when I looked down and saw that I WAS in the nude. I quickly covered my important areas and turned red in the face._

"Come on! You could've at least told me I was naked sooner!"

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Well, that's the prologue. This will tie in with the KH series one way or another. How, though, you'll just have to wait and see.


	2. Searching for Clothes

EDDY'S HOUSE 

"Ok, jungle boy," Eddy said to Roxas, a deep shade of red still present on his face as he covered himself with a blanket. "We need to find you some new duds." He opened up his closet door, as Roxas looked in awe. It couldn't have been a closet, he thought to himself. If anything it was a hallway, or even a small room of it's own. It was lined with what appeared to be hundreds of different outfits of varying styles and colors. "There's bound to be something in here for you, Roxas."

"There'd better be…"

"Hey, how about slipping into this little number?" Eddy laughed, holding up a pair of very _very_ small swim shorts. They looked more like…like underwear.

"…I think I'd rather stay naked, thank you," Roxas replied, glaring.

"I agree with him Eddy. Let's find something that our new friend here would be comfortable with, shall we?" Edd began shuffling through the different clothes. "Something simple, subtle, yet really brings out the character in him…Ah, here we go!" He took out a green-checkered vest shirt, similar colored pants, and black tap-dancing shoes.

"No way!" Eddy yelled, slapping the ensemble out of Edd's hands. "That's the kinda junk my Granddad dresses in, sockhead. We need something _cool_, ok? Get with the program." He pulled out a white shirt with a purple collar, white pants, black shoes, and a gold necklace. "Now THIS is happenin'!"

"Yeah, that looks okay," Roxas said. "Just as long as I can wear something…"

"I would advise against that," Edd said. "Eddy's taste in fashion isn't exactly 'updated', you could say."

"Oh, hahaha, good one Mr. comedy."

"Um, guys? I think I found something he could wear," Ed said. He himself was just in his underwear, holding his regular attire by one hand.

"Ed, I don't think Roxas wants to wear-" Edd couldn't finish his statement as he slapped his hands over his nose. "Good Lord, it's like a dumpster in here!"

"Ed, put your stinkin clothes back on! Now I'll have to desanitize the place!" Eddy yelled, rushing out of the closet along with Edd and Roxas.

"But I still need something to wear!"

"Mm….Home sweet home," Ed said, laughing stupidly as he did.

**EDD'S HOUSE**

"Thanks a lot Ed. Now not only do I have to scrub my closet clean and put all my clothes through the wash, but now we don't have any decent for Roxas to wear," Eddy complained, pouring a bowl of Chunky Puffs cereal.

"I would lend you some," Edd said to Roxas, "But I'm afraid you're too tall for my attire. Uninvited stretch marks would be the only result."

"Nah, it's ok, I can just walk around half-naked forever," Roxas said sarcastically. He was lucky to have found a pair of white undies to wear.

"What to do…Can't we ask some of the kids for clothes?" Eddy suggested.

"It's possible, although I doubt they'd go through with it. We aren't exactly the most popular candidates for lending in the Cul-de-sac."

"How come?" Roxas asked.

"Those neighbors of ours don't like it when we try to make an honest living."

"Don't you mean money extortion, Eddy?"

"Shut up, Einstein."

"I know! Let's go to Rolf's!" Ed exclaimed, grabbing the box of Chunky Puffs and chowing down.

"Rolf's? Hmmm…Yeah, that could work!" Eddy said, smiling.

"Rolf is very understanding about various predicaments," Edd said.

"Not to mention he's a pigeon, hehe."

"We're off to Rolf's house!" Ed exclaimed, grabbing his three friends in a headlock and running out the door. Unbeknownst to them, something strange happened in Edd's kitchen after they left. A door-sized opening had appeared in the room, completely dark. Out of it stepped an Enigmatic Man, dressed in a black cloak and a hood covering his appearance…

**ROLF'S HOUSE**

Eddy knocked on the door of the house, hearing weird squeals from inside.

"Wilfred! Silence yourself before Rolf unleashes his shoe upon your soul!" Roxas raised his eyebrow.

"Just who is this guy again?" he asked.

"He's our eccentric foreign neighbor, whom we have developed quite a cultural bridge with," Edd explained.

"And you're sure he has clothes that could fit me?" Roxas questioned again.

"Absolutely," Eddy reassured. The blonde teen sighed, then smiled. A minute later, the front door of the house had finally opened, revealing the boy known as Rolf. He wore an outfit not too dissimilar from Eddy's; a yellow shirt with a large red horizontal stripe, and blue jeans. He had dark blue hair, which was soaked for some reason.

"Ah, it is you, soft-boiled Ed-boys. And you have recruited a jackal, hm?"

"This is our new friend Roxas," Ed announced, smiling.

"He is in need of some attire, and we were hoping you would be able to-" Double D started.

"Silence!" Rolf yelled, startling the four boys. "Rolf does not assist sneaky Ed boys!" He paused. "However, it is customary in the old country to clothe the nude so they are not later mistaken for swine during the Hunting of the Boar."

"…Thanks?" Roxas was having second thoughts about this, but did not object as Rolf dragged him inside, slamming the front door on the three Eds.

"Ah, yes. You are very tall," Rolf commented as he shuffled through a dusty trunk full of clothing. "Lucky for you my great Nano once had an uncle your stature."

"Hey, why were you so angry at the Eds earlier?" Roxas asked. The blue-haired teen stopped.

"You would be wise to stray from them. They have plagued this cul-de-sac for many years…" Rolf shivered, then handed Roxas a simple brown shirt and blue pants. The pants in particular had two very large patches in them. "There. You are now fully clothed. Rolf will see you on your way out."


End file.
